Of course the trouble with not going to school very often and using science lessons as fag breaks is that the opportunity to obtain a career within the medical profession is pretty limited for a girl like me.




In fact the reality of the situation is that I am currently facing two obtainable options. I could either look at becoming a surgeon, specialising in 'Operation,' (you know, the game where you use tweezers to take out body parts and if you put the wrong bits in the wrong places you get buzzed.) Or indeed i could consider option two, which is becoming a slutty nurse with a little assistance from the dressing-up section of Ann Summers. So you see, very limited options indeed.




Fortunately, however, i am pleased to announce that I have no huge desires to embark on a new career in the medical profession anyway, though I do have a talent for diagnosing my own medical problems.




And it is with this talent, coupled with a little internet research, that i have concluded to diagnose my current state of health. And it doesn't look good guys. Because I've decided to diagnose myself with the dreaded Swine Flu.




(Either that or I have a cold.)




As much as I'd love to have your sympathy right now, (I am a firm believer in the curing wonders of a touch of sympathy and a new pair of shoes – so please feel free to send shoes also,) – I probably don't deserve it. Because, Swine Flu or Common Cold, either way, I've probably bought it all on myself.




I've partied far too much in the last week or so. I practically drank both Jay and Corny under the table the other night (when we had an impromptu evening of fun, frolics and karaoke) and I've lived off a diet of Budweiser and chips for a few days too long, (such a classy bird am i!) - not exactly running around screaming, 'get me, get me' to any form of virus going, but not really giving my immune system the best possible chances either.




The very fact that I am even considering my immune system when i go out and let my hair down these days, probably indicates that I am too old for all this malarkey. Too old to be imitating Amy Winehouse's lifestyle, (though probably just old enough to wisely spend her money,) and too old to be assuming that my bod will bounce back to normality the morning after.




Well I have learnt my lesson and am suffering the affects now. Especially now that I *have Swine Flu.




Today I have on the sexy and alluring scent of Eau De Vicks, and I am popping Cold and Flu tablets like there's no tomorrow, (of course there might not be if I get much worse) – my nose is running (but it's okay cos I've bought some more toilet roll since my last blog) and I am generally feeling rough.




An early night, a little TLC and a cuddle from my two gorgeous men should be just the medicine I need. Your lovely messages won't go a miss either ;-)




P.S – I don't know if it's possible to diagnose oneself as a hypochondriac, but if it is, i think i am. (she says shamefully ...)

 


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