*The Pregnancy Project* 
As you know, I'm on a mission at the moment to capture the truth, the whole truth and nothin' but the truth on the subjects of pregnancy, labour and beyond. And no-one knows the journey quite like you, my fellow Mumma's and Mumma's to be. I've built a little forum, a place in cyberspace for you lovely ladies to lay down the law, share your suggestions, ideas and opinions and let me know what subjects you'd like to see included in the book. Please visit if you have a mo!

(Yep, still writing novel too in case you were wondering! Am tying to multi-task! Haha!)

Hope you are all well!

With Love

Steph x
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The human bitch. She exists in so many forms. The fat bitch. The skinny bitch. The lying bitch. The man-stealing bitch. The bitch at school. The bitch at work. The bitch you no longer talk to, and yes, let’s face it, the bitch you occasionally glimpse in the mirror.  

Yep. Everyone knows a bitch. And I’m no exception.

My bitch is a cruel, conniving, bitter, twisted, jealous, unpleasant and considerably ugly bitch. And thus far, she is also without a name.

Which is where you come in. :-)

Please help me name my bitch.

My new novel is practically writing itself at such a furious pace that my (in-need-of-manicure) fingernails and general typing skills are struggling to keep up. Seriously I’ve spent so long here at my desk, tapping away with lightening speed, that the ’N’ and ’O’ keys on my keyboard appear to have got the hump and buggered off, leaving me with millions of misspelt words highlighted with squiggly red lines littering my screen. Highly annoying.

Alas I am so excited about my new book. The roots are firmly in place, the characters have come alive and I’m busying myself with paving their routes to happiness. Or at least I would be. If I hadn’t spent the best part of the last 48 hours trying to find a name for my bitch.

Can you name her? (She is a she by the way, though I am fully aware that bitches come in both genders.)

Is there a name you can think of that might be suitable for my bitch? Something really erm, ‘bitchy’?

You don’t need to provide a reason for why you consider the name to be suitable, though I’d gladly welcome any stories that might accompany your suggestion. :-) (It wouldn’t be right to name a bitch without having a little bitch about the bitch that might have inspired your bitches name in the first place now would it?!)

Please suggest some. And we’ll vote on the best!

Love to all

Steph x

 


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I’d love to possess a more ‘scientific’ brain! Actually that’s bollocks. Science bores the pants off me. But right now a little knowledge of physics wouldn’t go amiss.

Something terrible might have just happened. I can’t be sure. 

Of course really I shouldn’t disclose this kind of information to you, because confessing to being so dim is rather embarrassing, and generally speaking humans aren’t supposed to admit, let alone, highlight, flaws of this magnitude.

Well forgive me but I am human. And I am delightfully flawed. And this, my sweets, is a little example of how flawed I am.

I dropped a drawing pin into the toaster.

Will I die?! Will I be propelled like lightening across the other side of the room the next time I go to make peanut butter on toast?! Will sparks fly? Will the toaster explode into teeny tiny pieces?  Oh if only I had the sense to be sure.

I have, of course, considered turning the toaster upside down in order to retrieve the aforementioned drawing pin, but the idea of lots of toasty crumbs everywhere is putting me off. So I guess I’ll just have to risk my life instead. Cleanliness is next to Godliness you know.

Now don’t go thinking that this extremely intense dilemma of mine will not affect you. Because it will. In fact it could confuse you completely. Cos you’re not gonna know now, whether my absence from the blogosphere and world wide web in general is as a result of my fatality with the toaster and pin, or not . . .

Poor Steph is dead. You might conclude. After all loads and loads of people die from accidents around the home, (and loads and loads of those accidents occur to me every day— honestly I’ve had fires, sparks, electric shocks, I’ve walked into walls, patio doors, windows. I fall down the stairs all the time. Once a roof tile fell and missed me by about an inch and only yesterday I got my head caught in the clothes horse when I bent down to collapse the damn thing.) - the odd’s are not in my favour.

But I mightn’t be dead at all. I might be simply working hard away from the comfort of my beloved blog. As are my intentions for a while.

In the unlikely event of my survival from accidentally killing myself with stuff in the home, I have plans for a little blog-break. Why? Well despite my talent for running in high heels, (which indeed requires lots of balance,) as yet I haven’t mastered the art of balance in the other important aspects of my life. So other tasks of importance are suffering. Tasks like shopping, getting manicures (seriously you should see ‘em at the moment. I look like a boy.) and laundry. (My life isn’t quite that glamorous just yet.)

And it’s high-time I sorted it out. So, dear blog and lovely, lovely readers—It’s not you. It’s me. I’m just rubbish at juggling.

I’ve been asked to contribute on a Project on the topic of Pregnancy, which I am uber excited about, (thank you to everyone who took part in my survey by the way!)  - so I’m still going to be working hard, even though you won’t see my blogs very often and I’m also going to spend as much time as I possibly can in the depths of a fantasy world by concentrating on my new novel , which thus far, exists only in my imagination. (When it’s longing to be put on paper.)

I’ll be back before you know it, blogging regularly and lavishing you with the undivided attention we both know you deserve. But in the meantime forgive me if my posts are few and far between for a while. And rest assured that it’s not because I am lounging around on my (award winning—I hasten to add) butt eating Snickers Bars (Ooooh I could just scoff one of those right now . . . )

In the words of Arnie himself,

Hasta La Vista Baby!

I’ll be back ;-)

Steph x

 

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I’d like to dedicate todays blog entry to a dear friend of mine. A loyal, inspiring and beautiful friend. A friend whom provided company at all hours. A friend who listened intently, who amused and entertained and asked for little more than a few flakes in return. I found her this morning. Her body lifeless, her eyes glistening. My heart sunk.

And so it is with great sorrow that I bid farewell to my dear friend, ‘Goldy.’ May she float in peace in fishy heaven.

We had quite a bit in common, Goldy and I. Aside from the big eyes and same astrological star-sign, (Pisces, of course,) I think we both know, (or knew in her case,) what it feels like to be a little fish in a big pond. (Actually I doubt Goldy knew this feeling at all, since she spent her entire life in her tank on my desk . . . But you know what I mean.)

Yep, this is where I am right now. Trying to navigate my way through an enormous pond, without any flippers.

I love the freedom of writing. It’s like running around naked in the glorious sunshine, (I realise I refer to nudity quite a bit these days, will try to tone it down a bit, so as not to scare anyone.) I love the freedom of writing. It’s like running around with shoes and clothes on in the glorious sunshine.

I can go wherever I like. I can spin around in circles if I so wish. I can feel the warmth on my bare skin (or clothed skin, whichever you prefer,) and I can inhale deeply and let any scent or sensation soak into me whenever I like. 

Yet when my words gel together and create something a little more tangible, like my book, for instance, I suddenly find myself at the waters edge, obliged to jump straight in to the depths of the unknown.

So far I have dipped my toes in a bit. I’ve wiggled them around, felt the temperature and shivered a tad and now I’m stopping, to fill my lungs with the necessary air and to put my goggles on, (only joking, I don’t really ‘do’ goggles.)

And off I go, diving into the minefield of the public relations and promotions industries. (And trying not to drown on the way.)

Just a little fishy, in such an enormous pond. ;-)

Tis my dream to have my book recognised by more and more people, to reach out, share my experiences, amuse, entertain . . .  To make a success of myself, my writing, my passion. Yet I am all too aware that I’m gonna have to make a bit of a splash if I’m to be noticed here, amongst the bigger fish . . . 

Alas water is my favourite element, and what would life be without challenges huh?

So that, ladies and gents is my next mission. ;-)

Any advice, suggestions or oxygen would be gratefully received! In the meantime though you can help keep me afloat by following me on Twitter? Or telling everyone you know about my book? Or simply sending a little love (and some flippers!)

Follow me—www.twitter.com/slc84 ~ or just subscribe to my blog :-)

Love to all,

Steph x

 
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