I’d love to possess a more ‘scientific’ brain! Actually that’s bollocks. Science bores the pants off me. But right now a little knowledge of physics wouldn’t go amiss.

Something terrible might have just happened. I can’t be sure. 

Of course really I shouldn’t disclose this kind of information to you, because confessing to being so dim is rather embarrassing, and generally speaking humans aren’t supposed to admit, let alone, highlight, flaws of this magnitude.

Well forgive me but I am human. And I am delightfully flawed. And this, my sweets, is a little example of how flawed I am.

I dropped a drawing pin into the toaster.

Will I die?! Will I be propelled like lightening across the other side of the room the next time I go to make peanut butter on toast?! Will sparks fly? Will the toaster explode into teeny tiny pieces?  Oh if only I had the sense to be sure.

I have, of course, considered turning the toaster upside down in order to retrieve the aforementioned drawing pin, but the idea of lots of toasty crumbs everywhere is putting me off. So I guess I’ll just have to risk my life instead. Cleanliness is next to Godliness you know.

Now don’t go thinking that this extremely intense dilemma of mine will not affect you. Because it will. In fact it could confuse you completely. Cos you’re not gonna know now, whether my absence from the blogosphere and world wide web in general is as a result of my fatality with the toaster and pin, or not . . .

Poor Steph is dead. You might conclude. After all loads and loads of people die from accidents around the home, (and loads and loads of those accidents occur to me every day— honestly I’ve had fires, sparks, electric shocks, I’ve walked into walls, patio doors, windows. I fall down the stairs all the time. Once a roof tile fell and missed me by about an inch and only yesterday I got my head caught in the clothes horse when I bent down to collapse the damn thing.) - the odd’s are not in my favour.

But I mightn’t be dead at all. I might be simply working hard away from the comfort of my beloved blog. As are my intentions for a while.

In the unlikely event of my survival from accidentally killing myself with stuff in the home, I have plans for a little blog-break. Why? Well despite my talent for running in high heels, (which indeed requires lots of balance,) as yet I haven’t mastered the art of balance in the other important aspects of my life. So other tasks of importance are suffering. Tasks like shopping, getting manicures (seriously you should see ‘em at the moment. I look like a boy.) and laundry. (My life isn’t quite that glamorous just yet.)

And it’s high-time I sorted it out. So, dear blog and lovely, lovely readers—It’s not you. It’s me. I’m just rubbish at juggling.

I’ve been asked to contribute on a Project on the topic of Pregnancy, which I am uber excited about, (thank you to everyone who took part in my survey by the way!)  - so I’m still going to be working hard, even though you won’t see my blogs very often and I’m also going to spend as much time as I possibly can in the depths of a fantasy world by concentrating on my new novel , which thus far, exists only in my imagination. (When it’s longing to be put on paper.)

I’ll be back before you know it, blogging regularly and lavishing you with the undivided attention we both know you deserve. But in the meantime forgive me if my posts are few and far between for a while. And rest assured that it’s not because I am lounging around on my (award winning—I hasten to add) butt eating Snickers Bars (Ooooh I could just scoff one of those right now . . . )

In the words of Arnie himself,

Hasta La Vista Baby!

I’ll be back ;-)

Steph x

 

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'Never air your dirty laundry in public,' was just one snippet of advice given to me by my darling Nanny Madge.




Responsible for the little soft Scottish voice in my head that whispers, 'Never get your hair done by a hairdresser with bad hair, ' should I so much as step foot in a salon, my Nanny Madge has been on hand throughout my life with her words of wisdom.




I too love to dish out advice if ever it's needed, I'm a bit of an agony aunt like that, yet when it comes to my accepting advice given to me, the rebellious teenager within always seems to surface.




Hence my choosing to make my own mark on the world by airing my dirty laundry in an extremely public fashion, here in my beloved little blog on the world wide web.




It harbours some of my deepest, darkest secrets, some of my most intimate thoughts and of course it documents virtually every incident and event ever to have shaped my life thus far. Yup my dirty pants (and such) are visible for all to see. Ooops. But you know what? I figured my washing really isn't any dirtier than anyone else's ;-)




I write for a number of reasons. Firstly I find it therapeutic. It's cheaper than finding myself a shrink, (even though there is a part of me that would love to have a shrink, there's something uber cosmopolitan and chic about dropping in, 'my shrink says . . . ' into conversation lol) and it doesn't contain calories like chocolate. And when I'm low, when I hit rock bottom, when I lost my darling son, Harrison, last August, for example, this blog (and other stuff I've written) was my lifeline and the support I received from you lovely people was unbelievably valuable in helping me through it.




I receive some wonderful messages and have formed some fab friendships through my blog entries, which is another reason why i love to write, and without sounding like a speech from an awards ceremony, I feel so honoured to have you guys here with me, sharing the highs and lows of this crazy little journey we like to call, 'life.'




Writing is such a passion of mine, but more than that, it's a necessity in my life. Like breathing and buying shoes. It just makes me happy. So here's where I need your help.




Please, lovely people, please (and I am smiling very sweetly and fluttering my eyelashes at my laptop like a right nutter,) help me fund my shoe-shopping habit and keep my blog alive by sending anyone you think might fancy a little snoop and a little read of my stuff, in my direction. If you think you know anyone who might enjoy reading, 'Give a girl the right pair of shoes . . . ' Your Mums, Grandma's, Neighbours, Mates, Partners, Aunts, Sisters, Brothers, Cousins, In Laws, er Pets, (you catch my drift) – please do direct send them over here :-)




In return I promise to continue to try to amuse and entertain you. To make you laugh, cry and of course cringe or to just generally provide you with another excuse not to work ;-)




If you haven't subscribed to the blog yet please do so, just type your email addy into the box to the right and I'll be delivered directly to your email inbox! I also have a page dedicated to this blog over on Facebook, so you could become a fan or indeed suggest the page to your pals so they could become fans too :-)




Now don't worry, I'm not gonna badger and beg you all the time, after-all my powers of persuasion aren't what they used to be and i'm a rubbish sales person, but I just figured you wouldn't mind if I asked for your help just this once! Next blog I'll be back to my usual self . . . (though whether that's a positive thing I do not know . . . lol)




Many thanks for your support!




Love to all




Steph x

 
Blogs EXPOSED 24/04/2009
 

Well I have been wracking my one brain cell, (pregnancy has killed off all but one,) trying to mentally regiment this, my new blog, into some kind of category today.

I felt, if I were to be committing myself to this full-time, that I needed to ensure all my blog entries fall under a specific genre, so that I could easily explain to people what I do and could therefore give them an easy indication of what to expect from my writing.

But the truth is I just don't seem to fit into the one box, (ha, let's face it, right now i don't really fit into anything!)

Like Meredith Brooks, (remember her?) I'm kinda a bit of everything. I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother . . . you get my drift. I write, I sing, I keep ducks as pets, I drink lots, (though not at the moment,) and I grow herbs in my kitchen, (not that kind,) I like to cook, I like to run, (especially in high heels, but that's a different story) and I am currently extremely distracted by my husband enthusiastically sharing highly interesting information on squirrels . . . (God I am so scatty - where was I . . . ??!)

So I suppose what I am trying to say is that with me and my blog you can pretty much expect the unexpected, and I don't care how corny that sounds lol.

I can't really make any promises with this blog. Some of the entries may amuse you, some may bore you to tears, some could be inspiring, thought-provoking or could just serve to annoy the crap outta you. Either way I hope to keep you coming back for more!

I won't leave you completely clueless though as there is one thing I can guarantee. And that is to ensure that every blog entry, every thought and every story I tell will come straight from the heart and will be brutally honest - On this you have my word! :-)

 With Love,

Steph x