Give a girl the right pair of shoes . . . And she can conquer the world!

And 8 hours later I became a Mummy for the very first time :-)

"There is a rock on the banks of the River Rhine in Germany where a beautiful mermaid sits and sings.  Her beauty so radiant, her voice so powerful, and her song so alluring, that many a sailor has met his fate distracted by her presence.

Her name is Lorelei.

So too was the character played by Marilyn Monroe in the 1953 hit-movie, 'Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.'

Many poems have been written, many songs too, all inspired by the magical qualities of which the beautiful Lorelei possesses.

Mumma's darling girl,  your name suits you to a tee.

Lorelei Jasmyn, you are but five years old and already you are making your mark on our world. You are so intelligent, so knowledgeable, so inquisitive and the more I get to know you day-by-day, the more certain I am that you are destined for great things.

You're an absolute blessing to me, you always have been and you always will be.

When you first made your presence known your Mumma was just nineteen years old, in college, studying Music, working part-time as a waitress. I knew very little of the meaning of life, but you changed all of that.

Fate had decided that that Summer, 2003 would see many a new discovery in my life. And before I started my second year of college I packed my Rainbow Stilettoes into my back-pack and jetted solo across the globe to spend the season with my best friend in the land down under.

Together Katy and I travelled along the east-coast of Queensland, Australia. We swam in the Great Barrier Reef. We rode horses along the beach. We got lost in the Rainforest. Got stuck in a cable-car high in the mountains. We sang in bars, slept in hammocks under the stars and survived on a diet of watery beer and instant noodles. We had an absolute blast.

That was to be my last Single-gal Summer.

And by the time I set foot on English soil again I knew you were there.

I couldn't eat anything. Couldn’t stand the scent of food full stop, never mind the taste. And my hormones were shot to pieces. The in-flight movie on the way home, Bambi, had me sobbing almost hysterically.

It wasn't a big shock when the pregnancy test proved positive. But it was terrifying.

Nobody teaches you how to be a Mumma. And babies don't come with instructions. I was young and society often frowns upon young Mummies. But determined to prove myself I tried endlessly to do as good a job of raising you as I possibly could.

Often when Babies are born Mummies can suffer from something called Post Natal Depression. Nobody really talks about it. Perhaps because nobody likes to admit it. But Post Natal Depression can leave you feeling desperate, lonely, sad and unhappy. And because babies bring so much joy, when a new Mummy feels unhappy she also feels guilty. And guilt has to be one of the worst emotions to feel.

I thought perhaps I wasn't very good at being a Mummy at first. Nobody tells parents whether they are doing a good job. Instead people only point out the things that a new Mummy or Daddy is doing wrong. Not holding the baby correctly perhaps? Or bottle-feeding instead of breast feeding? There are endless reasons to feel guilty as a parent and very little recognition for the things that you do perfectly.

I had wanted everything to pan out perfectly. To feel the instant rush of Mothers Intuition, to bond with you as they do in the movies. Yet it was a slower process for you and I. At the time I felt I couldn't tell anybody. I painted a smile on my face to hide my fear, and I cried in my bedroom, where nobody could see. Because I thought I was alone. I thought it was different for everybody else and I thought you would be better off with somebody older and wiser, who knew what they were doing.

Yet my gorgeous baby girl it was you who saved Mummy from feelings of utter despair. Your first smile, at three o'clock in the morning, about 12 weeks after your arrival, was a moment of euphoria that shall never be forgotten. The way that you gazed at me. Your eyes wide and full of love. And it was at this moment that I knew. You needed me. I needed you and together we would be okay.

And as you grew you showed so many signs of love and appreciation. And you'll never know what that means to me. To hear you say, 'I love you,' to watch your face seek mine for approval and encouragement. To feel you in my arms and to watch you blossom into the most beautiful little lady I have ever known.

You have given my life a real purpose Lorelei and I pledge to you that no matter what I will always be the very best Mumma I can be."

~Excerpt taken from my book, 'Give a girl the right pair of shoes . . . And she can conquer the world.' ~

Well, it’s safe to say the boy done good ;-) Better than good. In fact I doubt Cupid himself could have topped it.

I won’t go into detail, I don’t wanna drive you insane with jealousy ;-) But I am counting myself as a very, very lucky girl, (Which is just as well really, since in a matter of months I’ll be pledging to spend the rest of my life with this guy! lol)

I am feeling strangely emotional at the moment, not suicidal emo or anything, just a tad soppy. I’m finding myself feeling all sentimental about stuff, like, you know, Lorelei getting old and everything, (she turns 4 tomorrow, and I feel really, really weird about it!) – And I keep crying for no real reason.

Wednesday night, for example, Mum and I headed out for a night at the flicks. We saw, ‘P.S I Love You,’ (which is fantastic, by the way, well worth watching!) – The storyline is quite sad, (in a nice way, if that makes any sense??!) – and yet out of the, oooh I don’t know, 30 odd people in the auditorium, I seemingly was the only one totally unable to control my emotions. I practically sobbed all the way through the film, making my popcorn soggy, and drawing far too much unwanted attention to myself. As we left the cinema I caught a glimpse of my reflection, my eyes were red-raw and my mascara was making a swift getaway. And even on the way home I was chewing my lip and twiddling my hair, the way I always do when I feel like I’m going to cry.

Still, don’t let me put you off . . . the story is lovely, and the eye-candy’s not bad either . . . . ;-)

Sophie Kinsella has a new novel out, (buy it, buy it now!) It’s called, ‘Remember Me?’ and I am totally hooked on it! Seriously, it’s so funny I keep laughing out loud, I’m trying to persuade Jay to read it too, only he doesn’t quite seem to share my passion for Chick Lit. (which is a bit shit actually) – I’m desperate to finish it, to see what happens at the end, but I know I’ll be gutted when it’s all over. Still, it should encourage me to get on with my own novel, (especially since I vowed I’d have it completed by the end of 2008 and we’re already half-way through February!) – I guess with all these soppy chick flicks and novels, my romantic side is out on true form!

At the risk of making this entire blog entry read like a Jonathan Ross Review, I’m also just gonna briefly rave about that ITV thingy . . . ‘Moving Wallpaper,’ and, ‘Echo Beach.’ – Very amusing, very witty – makes staying in on a Friday night totally viable!

We partied hard this afternoon, to celebrate Lorelei’s birthday. I’ve put the pics up, and I think they pretty much speak for themselves but we had a wonderful time.

It’s such a strange thought to think that this time 4 years ago I went into labour, (actually it will be exactly 4 years ago at midnight) – I remember Mum and I were watching the Brit awards, she was practising her Reflexology skills on me after my Auntie had recommended giving it a go to speed the labour process on . . . I remember shaving my legs in the tub before driving to the hospital, and then applying shit-loads of make-up on the way, as if it mattered what I looked like!

God, I can’t believe I went through all that, makes me feel extremely proud. My theory? If I can cope with labour, I can cope with anything ;-)

Well it was certainly worth it – I’d have a zillion kids if I could guarantee they’d all be as amazing as my Lori, I mean, obviously I would be totally skint and would have to build a house the size of England to squeeze all my kids in, but I’m sure it’d be okay ;-)

Righty-ho . . . I guess I’d better hit the sack now, got a busy weekend ahead of us and I’ll be a right bitch for the journey down south tomorrow, if I don’t get enough shut-eye ;-)

Stephie x